TAKE BACK YOUR NOM!

I'm a healthy girl, both in being a big girl and being a girl that likes her salad. In fact, a homemade salad usually makes my meal. I love big bowl of leafy greens, the acrid bite of fresh bit of onion, the sunshine burst of a tomato and the mellow sweetness of a fruit. To me, a salad is serious business and a serious case of the happy. When I get happy just from eating, I like to nom. I like to sing my little nom song; nom nom nom nom nomnomnom nom nom. Life is pretty darn good with your noms in order.

Then, some collection of crack addled weasles stole nom, a sign of good happy making food, and made it NOM, crack addled fear whoring homophobes with a commercial. WTF? Who are these idjits and why are they taking to the media with no clue about internet conventions? What kind of evil would take a universal happy and make it a swirling torrent of bigotry? People who are so concerned about Roger rogering another Roger in gay marriage bliss that they would get divorced in some sort of mental freak-out, raping goats and going out in public smeared with feces and rolling in broken glass for all eternity.

Oh deary me. Have a seat, people. Let's get frank here. If your marriage is based on the fact that men and women alone can get married, you're doomed to divorce. If you're "heterosexual" because big sky daddy of doom would lightning strike your wiener (or cooch), you need to own up to "teh gay" that you are and find a nice unitarian or modern, progressive church and meet a lovely youth minister who's looking for his god given husband since he's saving himself for marriage. Then shag like bunnies, adopt a few kids or baster baby with a few lesbians. Live a long happy domesticity with each other, driving each other nuts like the straights do. No one else's relationship should be "affecting" your marriage. Your marriage is a sign that you've made your choice, and nothing else but that other person will do. That 2 guys or 2 girls are wanting to do the same thing should not affect you. If you're worried about little johnnie or janie seeing "teh gay" in action because those people can get married, I suggest home schooling him so they can be as spektacular in der gramtikalz an lojics jes like u. We've survived a few thousand years with horrible things being done-like corrupting nom and crazed-ass religious fundamentalism in government-yet, children are usually ok. Seeing 2 people in a loving relationship (unlike yours, where you're all paranoid that gays are making you less special) can only make them happy and want to be happy in their relationships too.

Now get your homophobe hating ass out of chair and far the hell away from my noms. Bastards.