Misanthropic Meanderings

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Location: California, United States

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Thursday, June 01, 2006


Somedays, home isn't enough.

You want to get up in a strange bed, smell different aromas, hear another tongue. Where does it come from? Why can't you just wake up each day, feel good about what's ahead of you and come back to your comfy life without feeling unrest? Maybe I shouldn't use the global "you", it might just be me. Today on the way back from my morning walk, the sonoma hills really stood out against the pale blue of the sky. No haze today, so you could see the little dots of scrub on the pale brown earth. For a moment, I wished I could get over to them. Take a decent hike, maybe some decent photos, explore a bit. If only I had, say, a car and a map. Working at multiple businesses has taken a lot of my time but that's not what keeps me in so much. Who needs sleep? This is just more fun with someone else. Not saying I haven't taken off for a bit by myself and had a decent time, just that I like to blaze a trail with a trailbuddy.

I spent most of my trip in through the islands by myself and it was good. Trucking over Berkeley for pagan fests or film shoots, good. Wandering Arizona, good. Road trip with entire family of friend, GOD I WISHED I WAS ALONE-I mean, an interesting good... Right now, I'm dedicated to trying to build something for myself. It takes a lot of sacrifice to make a business work, even more when it's an art related business. But right now, if one of my friends (car-owning ones) said "let's go shovel horseshit in Yreka, spelunk over in the old mines of gold country and freeze our asses off watching whales in Monterey", I'd be packed before 'let's' turned into 'go'.

We used to have a term called "gypsy feet" for people who always like to be somewhere else. In fact, I got an anointing and a demon chasing ceremony to cure me from that. No, I won't ever tell you about that. It didn't seem to work. My friends here are comfortable, quite settled. My ex is a total homebody and our weekends are all work. I guess for now I can look at the hills and think "if I could just fly...". At least for a little while.


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