Misanthropic Meanderings

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Location: California, United States

See the title? There you go.

Friday, August 18, 2006

House Hunters

What is home? Where is it? I'm plagued by desires for that elusive state called "home". Right now I share with my ex. This is the person that used to be "home" to me. We still have closeness but I ache for my own space. That's not likely to happen for, er, an eon or so. I wonder if when I go to my grave, I'll have to share a coffin.

Since I'd like to be at peace with this situation, I don't talk about how I feel. What's the point when nothing is going to change? My feelings get expressed in weird ways, though. I'm addicted to House Hunters on HGTV. I watch people select a house. My prognistication skills are put to the test trying to figure out which one will be the chosen one. All I see is me wandering some tacky hallway, entering a room covered in dowdy carpet, asking "is there wood floors under this?" I read house & land sales publications voraciously and daydream about what my own little piece of the world could look like. Little 3d floor plans litter my computer and once in a while, I pick up a magazine of floor plans. My bookshelves have tomes on sustainability, eco-housing and homemade everything.

I'm all set. If only I had the house to go with it.


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