Misanthropic Meanderings

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Location: California, United States

See the title? There you go.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Breakfast at 9am

There we are, sharing an omelette of tomatoes, chilis and mushrooms neatly divided by his hand, a row of tabasco sauce forming a crimson line between one portion and the other. We talk, first of one thing, then of another. The day's hoped for accomplishments are listed, commented on and dismissed. Curiosity, or the devil, prick me, so I ask on love.

"What do you think?"

"Unnn, hunh?"

"This doesn't seem strange to you?"

"Omelette seems fine, filling is kinda loose, though.

"No. I mean think, about it. At our advanced age, who thinks about starting all over again? Where exactly do we fit in out here?"

"Yeah, I see what you mean. I am, in my office, exactly in the middle. There are some younger people, most are older. But most are married, they have kids, people have houses, mortgages-"

"-We have the cat-"

"-Pretty much. I look younger, I am not married, no kids, the most I have is a car payment and there's rent. There's not a lot in common with my age group."

"By now I thought I'd be in the middle of some adult life, with a career. I didn't see the mom thing, but here we are and we're thinking about what? Dating? I never dated!"

"I did and didn't. I've been proposed to 3 times, I've been engaged twice-including you-but that's it. I'm skeptical. See this eyebrow, it goes up like DesCartes in his picture. I am that skeptical about what people do. I never picked anyone up. I never went on the hunt. It's not me. I met people, we were drawn together, we went out, we did things that people together do, the relationship ran it's course and we went through the painful breakup process."

"See, there it is. I've done even less. I feel like I'm back at 16, trying to figure out what opposite sex even means. Men my age often seem old, men younger are too young. You and our friends are the only adults I know with similar tastes. Now, let's say we even get to that point. We go even further, we find people we like, we go out, we get all the way up to kissing and... BANG! We have to get naked with new people again."

"Ha, yeah, that was something. I thought about that. So what?"

"We did all that before, why do we have to do it again?!" I just don't know if I can go out, make friends, find someone I'm interested in who's interested in me and then go get naked with somebody new."

"I'm one up on you there. I'm a guy, women already have body issues, I don't, so I start with one huge confidence block. Not that I don't share your concerns."

"You're only hanging around to save yourself from dating."

"Yeah. I'm not interested in anybody from here. I'm supposed to go for anorexic white girls? No."

"You're not hoping I re-fall for you and just stay with you?"

"Is that so bad?"

"Is it? I don't know. Familiarity is nice. but after 14 years, all I know is I love you and that isn't enough for a relationship to work. Wouldn't it, by now? We dealt with it and moved on. Not quickly but we're kinda slow to accept new things or, in this case, people."

"Yeah. Having more tea?"


Why we, of all two people, of all two friends, discuss love with each other is beyond me.


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