I Don't Get

Lava lamps. How do they get stuff into it, why is it fascinating?

Black Light-how did we figure out that in combo with flourescent colours would work? What is "black light" anyway?

Why does NYC seem so well laid out and almost every other place in CA seem so haphazard and crafted with only cars in mind? Scratch that one, I think I get it.

Are all women's magazines an adventure in self-hate and profligate spending? Do we not get enough criticism why these things exist? And why are men joining us on this band wagon? Hey, doodmeister, she won't love you more because you have a six pack & 2% body fat. GO FUCKING EAT A COOKIE. And quit using "product". Over 20 years of hanging with queers and not once did they ever use the term product. Take a hot shower, moisturize, eat healthy and take some exercise. Actually go on a program and you lose any attractiveness you might have had. That goes for men and women.

Tank tops in XXL. Spandex shorts & miniskirts over size 16. Ladies & gentlemen, well constructed garments are your friend. You don't have to go hijab, but leave us a little mystery. Please. I beg you.

The Law of White Garments Attraction to Red Objects. Even if you avoid eating italian, using a red pen, touching red paper, something red and stainy will touch you and spoil your clothes. This is a proof of evil existing.

Headcheese. Does it even sound appetizing? I don't want to know what's in it.

Fluffernutter. Mayo. White bread. See post on headcheese.

Men. They are crazy.

Women. See entry re: men.