Rejection

It's times like these that make me miss NYC. I've (seemingly) been turned down again for a job. After 4 years out here, my employment prospects are as bleak as a kindergarten dropout. I had to fight for the pathetic little customer service post I barely earn enough to cover my bills with. I scour the papers, the online postings, the UC job board–to no avail. I've never been unemployed this long. Never has it seemed so futile, my skills so spurned. I'm week-old meat with maggots, last year's trend found cowering in the back of the closet. I can't crack the network of friends that the university requires. Whatever combination of skill with dullard mentality and sexuality California seeks has slipped past me. A degree and over a decade of experience and I sit on the edge of homelessness with pennies to my name, constantly trying to change this circumstance. Once again, I go from, "you're right at the top of the list" to no call, no email, no letter, no, nothing. As time runs out on me, I wonder how much more long I can make do at the fringe of society, if I can even claim a future. I just had no intention of peaking when I did, for as brief a period as it was. If I only had a clue what to do.